Is This Extra Extra Lettuce?

Is This Extra Extra Lettuce?
Originally uploaded by Daniel Greene.

I’d like a vote: is this what you would call extra extra lettuce on a BLT (Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato) sandwich?

I call it barely enough lettuce for a regular BLT. The first time I ordered one of these from the cafe in my office building, they served it with one thin piece of green leaf lettuce. So the second time I asked for “extra lettuce” and I got two thin leaves of green lettuce. The third time, I asked if they had any iceberg lettuce to make the sandwich wetter. They said no, so I asked for “extra extra” lettuce, and I got this: two or three leaves of thin green lettuce.

And don’t give me any guff about being a Jew and eating bacon and kvetching about the lack of lettuce when I said I’d try to complain less. This isn’t complaining, it’s critiquing. I’m a food critic now; haven’t you heard? Of course I’m grateful to have food to eat (God knows we live in a world in which people starve to death), but I still have my wishes, and I wish for a moist BLT with lots of lettuce. Yeah! =)