I recently went to Archie’s Deli for the first time. My dad, who lives in Sun City, told Andy & me about this New York Jewish deli in Surprise, so I figured we’d have to try it.

Cream Cheese Frosting Swirl
Originally uploaded by Daniel Greene

I loved their Pastrami Reuben, so when I found out they had red velvet cake for dessert, I eagerly ordered it. My first surprise was when it got to my table as a cupcake. It was piled high with sweet cream cheese topping, which was very pretty, but I was eager to taste the cake– would it be chocolaty enough? Alas, I could detect no cocoa flavor at all. I don’t know about you, but I love a red velvet cake with a distinct hint of cocoa. I could neither taste nor see any hint of cocoa in this cake.

Apparently, there is some debate over how much cocoa to add to a red velvet cake– or even whether to add cocoa at all! (This amazes me.) I Googled ‘red velvet cake recipe’ (no quotes), and found this recipe among the top results. It only has one teaspoon of cocoa! It has as much vanilla as it has cocoa. Then I Googled ‘red velvet cake enough cocoa’ (again no quotes) and found this fabulous recipe with photos that calls for a full two tablespoons of cocoa! Now we’re talkin’!

What do you think? Cocoa or no? A little or a lot? Or have you never even had red velvet cake?

… and I didn’t have penile enhancement surgery! I simply ordered a Golden Wong, which is a long weiner covered with melted cheese and bacon. Great concept, but the execution left something to be desired. I was hoping for a hot dog in a warm, toasty bun. What I got was something that seemed over-microwaved– a hot dog that took a long time to cool down to edible temperature and a bun that was slightly rubbery. The little shack we ate in (on Thomas Rd just east of 7th Ave) was a little grimy, the restroom made some gas stations’ facilities look like luxury amenities, and the staff kept reaching into a freezer in the "dining room" that any patron could have access to. I tried their wings, too, and they were good, but there are much more savory places to get such fare, and next time I’ll patronize one of them instead.

I’ve seen Long Wong’s restaurants elsewhere in the Valley, and I wouldn’t be opposed to trying one of them if it’s nicer than this.

With all the “I’m Addicted to Pete’s Fish & Chips!” bumper stickers I’ve seen around the Valley, I would have thought I was missing out on a local legend (having never been to one myself).

I’ll tell you a little secret though: those bumper stickers are free! If people had to pay for them, I don’t think there would be so many.

I was starving after work yesterday, and here I was sitting in the drive-thru of Pete’s on 27th Ave & Van Buren, so I thought I’d take a commemorative shot of my first time at one of the legendary Pete’s. But I’m telling you the morning after driving the food home and eating it, it’s just a greasy mess! It’s not delicious or special or anything. It’s just over-greasy rectangular slabs of fried fish on top of over-greasy shoestring fries. So, I don’t love Pete’s Fish & Chips; in fact, I don’t even like them!

I’d like a vote: is this what you would call extra extra lettuce on a BLT (Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato) sandwich?

I call it barely enough lettuce for a regular BLT. The first time I ordered one of these from the cafe in my office building, they served it with one thin piece of green leaf lettuce. So the second time I asked for “extra lettuce” and I got two thin leaves of green lettuce. The third time, I asked if they had any iceberg lettuce to make the sandwich wetter. They said no, so I asked for “extra extra” lettuce, and I got this: two or three leaves of thin green lettuce.

And don’t give me any guff about being a Jew and eating bacon and kvetching about the lack of lettuce when I said I’d try to complain less. This isn’t complaining, it’s critiquing. I’m a food critic now; haven’t you heard? Of course I’m grateful to have food to eat (God knows we live in a world in which people starve to death), but I still have my wishes, and I wish for a moist BLT with lots of lettuce. Yeah! =)