Things I never thought I’d say about death

I’ve said a couple of things about death this week I never thought I’d hear come out of my mouth. The day before my mom died alone in her apartment (sad news, I know), I tried talking her into signing a DNR so she could go into hospice. She said she wanted them to do everything they could to save her life. I said, as gently as I could, “Well… Mom… people who know they’re dying don’t ask people to save their lives. Death is part of the dying process.”

The next day, when I got the call that she died, I was in shock – not surprised, sadly, but shaken. I told my (gentile) husband I wanted to sit shiva but needed a refresher on how. He went to get one of my Jewish books for me, and instead of bringing A Handbook of Jewish Living, he brought The Jewish Holidays. He was looking in the index saying, “Shiva… Shiva… I see Shabbat but nothing about shiva.” I looked at the cover of the book and said, “Death is not a holiday. “





3 responses to “Things I never thought I’d say about death”

  1. 2012: It could have been worse | Daniel Greene's TerpTrans Avatar

    […] than I have been in a decade, having taken on student loans in pursuit of my master’s degree. My mother died on October 26th. My husband is still disabled and still unemployed, and I ended the year with a […]


  2. Mary Crowder Avatar
    Mary Crowder

    I love that Andy brought you the book of Jewish Holidays. He wanted to celebrate and honor her! That’s love!


    1. Daniel Greene Avatar

      It was very sweet. My “death is not a holiday” comment came out as an ironic realization spoken in a state of shock. He understood. 🙂


Comments welcome

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: