Daniel Greene

Category: Cuddling

Posts about cuddling, therapeutic touch, snuggling, cuddle therapy, platonic touch, boundaries and consent, etc.

  • On cuddling both women and men

    On cuddling both women and men

    I have cuddled with both men and women— not yet with people of other genders, though I would be happy to do so.

    There are a couple of professional woman cuddlers who have held me and touched me in ways that released tears— sobs, even! I would be willing to cry with another guy, but for some reason that hasn’t happened yet. Maybe there was something motherly and healing about those women that helped me feel I could open up. I have also enjoyed the way some women I’ve cuddled with have boosted my ego, asking me questions that elicit my best feelings about myself and praising me for what they see as the best in me. I suppose a man could do that for me too, and I suppose some have done that in one way or another, but for some reason the feeling was more pronounced with women. I would also say that with women I had this odd sense of chivalry just for being a good guy, respecting them, and not trying anything non-platonic with them. Maybe it’s because I have been brought up a certain way in the world we live in, but I take it upon myself to be extra careful with women so they feel safe and comfortable. I don’t feel quite as much “walking on eggshells” with men, though I am cautious with men who have not cuddled with many (or any) men before so that they feel that their self-image is intact and they don’t feel I am threatening them or asking them to do anything they’re not comfortable with. I must say I have had some surprisingly tender and intimate cuddles with men, including men who identify as straight, and this has been mind-blowing and deeply healing. I have also enjoyed giving my masculine energy and strength free rein to wrap another man in tight, intense bear hugs, and it has felt great to have another man squeeze me back just as hard. It’s like “Grrrrreat!” masculine energy exchange! 💪🐯

    I am so glad that I have opened myself up to cuddling with people of all genders, and I highly recommend it!

  • A world of affectionate male friends

    A world of affectionate male friends

    I see a world in which men are as affectionate with each other as male cats are, in which men are as comfortable cuddling a male friend as they are petting their male dog or cat. For most of us, this world doesn’t exist— yet! Even if I don’t see it with my eyes, I see it with foresight. If you foresee it too, let’s make it a reality!
  • A cuddling haiku

    A cuddling haiku

    Cuddling with you,
    Where you end and I begin
    Gets lost in oneness.
  • Book your Black Friday cuddle in a four-star hotel

    Book your Black Friday cuddle in a four-star hotel

    I’m a Certified Cuddlist, and I’m hosting cuddle sessions in a four-star hotel the day after Thanksgiving. Whether you’re a local or a traveler, why not get away from the family and the Black Friday sales for a couple of hours and treat yourself to a cuddle session? I’m booking sessions now at 50% off, only $40 per hour, from 9am to 5pm. Email me to book your session: cuddling@danielgreene.com.

  • A professional cuddler’s shift from “I would never…” to “I might if…”

    A professional cuddler’s shift from “I would never…” to “I might if…”

    Over the past year, I have discussed hundreds of topics with other cuddlers, especially on CuddleComfort.com. What I have seen, especially among professional cuddlers, is that those who have never done a certain thing with a cuddle buddy have a tendency to say “I would never do that,” yet those who have done that exact thing say, “I have done it and it has worked.”

    I believe that those who speak from experience and have tried certain approaches and succeeded know that those choices can be ethical and effective, and those who say “I would never…” are suffering from a lack of imagination. I have learned through studying demand-control schema for the past 16 years, and participating in and leading case supervision with other ASL/English interpreters for the past 8 years, that whether a certain action is “good” and “works” depends on mitigating and militating circumstances. When practitioners come together and discuss their work with an open mind, we discover that things we thought we would never do can, in reality, make perfect sense to do when conditions are favorable. For example, as a man in a committed, monogamous relationship, I might say “I would never share a bed overnight with a cuddle client,” but if a person whose life partner recently died can’t sleep at night I might do an overnight session with that client, and I think my partner would understand that I was helping someone in need. This has not happened yet, but my training in self-reflection and ethical decision making allows me to use my imagination to say “I might do that if…” instead of “I would never.”

    Robyn Dean & Bob Pollard, who created the demand-control schema (2001) from Robert Karasek’s job demand control model (1979), teach that in all situations there is a spectrum of controls, or choices or actions, from conservative (tending toward inaction) to liberal (tending toward action). At the far ends of the spectrum are controls that are so egregious that they are ineffective and unethical, but in the middle there is a whole range of controls that are effective and ethical. To apply this to cuddling, there are actions (or inactions) outside the ethical and effective range that are too conservative, such as having a session and refusing to touch a perfectly respectful client, and that are too liberal, such as doing sexual favors. Yet there are so many choices that can work and be good in ways you might not imagine unless you are in that particular situation. It is up to each person to obey rules and laws yet keep an open mind to the myriad ways they can operate within those rules and laws that can work and be good.