Cuddling with you,
Where you end and I begin
Gets lost in oneness.
I’m a Certified Cuddlist, and I’m hosting cuddle sessions in a four-star hotel the day after Thanksgiving. Whether you’re a local or a traveler, why not get away from the family and the Black Friday sales for a couple of hours and treat yourself to a cuddle session? I’m booking sessions now at 50% off, only $40 per hour, from 9am to 5pm. Email me to book your session: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Over the past year, I have discussed hundreds of topics with other cuddlers, especially on CuddleComfort.com. What I have seen, especially among professional cuddlers, is that those who have never done a certain thing with a cuddle buddy have a tendency to say “I would never do that,” yet those who have done that exact thing say, “I have done it and it has worked.”
I believe that those who speak from experience and have tried certain approaches and succeeded know that those choices can be ethical and effective, and those who say “I would never…” are suffering from a lack of imagination. I have learned through studying demand-control schema for the past 16 years, and participating in and leading case supervision with other ASL/English interpreters for the past 8 years, that whether a certain action is “good” and “works” depends on mitigating and militating circumstances. When practitioners come together and discuss their work with an open mind, we discover that things we thought we would never do can, in reality, make perfect sense to do when conditions are favorable. For example, as a man in a committed, monogamous relationship, I might say “I would never share a bed overnight with a cuddle client,” but if a person whose life partner recently died can’t sleep at night I might do an overnight session with that client, and I think my partner would understand that I was helping someone in need. This has not happened yet, but my training in self-reflection and ethical decision making allows me to use my imagination to say “I might do that if…” instead of “I would never.”
Robyn Dean & Bob Pollard, who created the demand-control schema (2001) from Robert Karasek’s job demand control model (1979), teach that in all situations there is a spectrum of controls, or choices or actions, from conservative (tending toward inaction) to liberal (tending toward action). At the far ends of the spectrum are controls that are so egregious that they are ineffective and unethical, but in the middle there is a whole range of controls that are effective and ethical. To apply this to cuddling, there are actions (or inactions) outside the ethical and effective range that are too conservative, such as having a session and refusing to touch a perfectly respectful client, and that are too liberal, such as doing sexual favors. Yet there are so many choices that can work and be good in ways you might not imagine unless you are in that particular situation. It is up to each person to obey rules and laws yet keep an open mind to the myriad ways they can operate within those rules and laws that can work and be good.
I took these photos of Staci Starlight (@cuddleyogistaci on Cuddle Comfort) for our mutual promotion at the beautiful AC Hotel by Marriott in the Biltmore area of Phoenix. I took the photos using a tripod and delayed shutter, and in addition to some natural daylight coming through the window, I lit the scene with umbrella lights.
If you are interested in booking a session with me, you may request me from my Cuddlist profile. If you’d like to book both of us together, contact me on Cuddle Comfort! We would be happy to demonstrate boundary and consent communication and cuddle positions, and we would be happy to surround you with cuddles as well (just imagine yourself where the pillows between us are).
I’m a Cuddlist-certified professional touch practitioner, a male professional cuddler. Here are five reasons to book a session with me when you travel to my city, the Phoenix/Scottsdale area of Arizona.
- You may want a human connection that is intimate yet platonic. I can provide that! I have no desire to do anything but cuddle with you and keep you company.
- You may be feeling lonely and in need of some self-care and uplifting. You may have a presentation or performance and want to relax, feel great, and be at your best for your big show— or you may want someone to unwind with afterward. You may be bored or anxious and want to have some companionship and comfort. I can help you make your visit more personally fulfilling. I’m even happy to be your “emotional support human” at a dreaded event (as long as we’re not pretending to be something we aren’t).
- You may be in a committed relationship and just want to be held without any expectations or commitments. I know from experience that when I travel I feel lonely. I’m also married and don’t want to cheat on my partner. I believe it is fair to say that cuddling outside of marriage is not cheating, because it is a platonic activity. If you are married, you and I can cuddle, remain faithful to our partners, and even return to them with more of our own needs met so we can attend to theirs.
- You may travel often and want a safe harbor to return to each time you’re here— someone you can reconnect with who makes no demands on you for friendship or anything other than a relationship that’s therapeutic for you.
- I live near the regional airports in Deer Valley and Scottsdale, and only a half-hour from Phoenix Sky Harbor International airport, so I can easily travel to you if you are staying in a hotel in the area.
Now you have five reasons to book a platonic session with me, a certified professional male cuddler, when you travel to the greater Phoenix metropolitan area!
Featured image photo credit: This is a landscape I took from the Desert Botanical Garden in Phoenix/Tempe/Scottsdale (the garden actually straddles all three).